NEW YORK -
A usually calm New York neighborhood is in shock this evening as one of
their own has begun to display signs of flagrant homosexuality. Holysurvival
was seen this morning talking with a strong lisp and bragging about the prior
night's homoerotic adventures with a bartender referred to as "Bubba".
then proceeded to apprehend Mr. Holysurvival after the suspect
threatened to strike an officer with a rubber dildo. While being taken into custody,
it was reported that the suspect made repeated attempts to "tap some ass" with
several police officials, but no one was available to confirm these findings.
was released from the county jail late this evening after bail of $150,000 was
posted by the suspect's friend "Bubba", who was later
stopped on the street for possession of a jet-black double-headed rubber dildo.